My memories are most clear starting from when I was twelve years old. It is not like I don't remember anything from before that. However, I can remember clearly even today, classes, teachers, friends, travel trips, books, incidents etc that happened to me after I turned twelve years. Also, I remember that I became more conscious of choosing what books to read, which friends to make and what activities to pursue. For this reason, I thought I would write down a few notes.
These are not strict rules to follow or anything. Rather, consider these 'points to ponder'
1. The question. Your most powerful tool that you will be able to use your entire life from now on is knowing how to ask a question. And also never being afraid to ask a question (this was taught to me by my father, when I turned twelve). There are three questions that you can ask of anything. The first question is 'what'. The second question is 'how'. The third question is 'why'.
Let's say that in class you are learning about Ancient Egypt and you are learning about the Pyramids. You can start by asking 'What is a Pyramid?' You will learn all about Pyramids as objects - how big they are, where they are located and so on. You can then ask "How were Pyramids built?' As an answer to this question, you will learn how in Ancient Egypt without today's modern technology, they were able to build these wonderful structures.
Finally, you should ask 'Why did they build the Pyramids?' This becomes the most important question. You will learn why humans do what they do. What beliefs they hold. What motivates them. Asking the question 'Why' before you ask the questions 'What' and 'How' will not be useful. It is better to ask the question in the order - What - How and then Why.
2. Conversations. If you look carefully around you - all living things are in constant communication with each other. Birds, Animals, Whales and of course us humans. For us humans, conversations are extremely important tools. This is how we impart information to each other and in large part some of the best learning comes through conversations. Good conversations are not easy. There are a few ideas to keep in mind to ensure a good conversation.
The first is to understand what type of conversation this is. Are you in a class room listening to a teacher? Are you being a 'big brother' at school and teaching or coaching a younger student. Are you chatting with friends?
The second idea is to 'listen' well. A conversation is not just about you speaking what is on your mind. The most important part of a conversation is listening. Listen to what the other person is saying. Understand it. Show interest in what they are saying. And then react with your comments.
The final thought around a good conversation is enjoying it. As one learn's to have better and better conversations, with friends, with teachers, with neighbors, with cousins and so on you will find out that this gives you a lot of satisfaction - better than video games, better than movies.
3. Sports. One will try many many sports throughout when you are in school now and later when you are in college - track, tennis, swimming, soccer, basket ball and so on. Over time one will like a few of them and become good at them. For example I have played many sports as well including basket ball, tennis and cricket. However, over time I realized I like hiking and golf the most. So one should try different sports and keep an eye out for what you enjoy the most.
4. Visit a Temple In India. We visit temples here in the U.S. We are continuing a great tradition that is practiced throughout India as well. When the four of us, your parents were growing up in India, it is almost certain that we all went to temples quite regularly. Temples in India are carriers of more than three thousand years of accumulated culture and wisdom. If you want to know who you are and what cloth you are made of, you must visit temples in India. So each time you make a visit to India once a year or once in two years - show an interest in some of the major temples. Some that come to my mind are Tirupati, Konark, Chidambaram and Rameswaram.
There are great traditions around the world. A Catholic will have a similar experience when he or she goes to the Vatican. Or a Muslim going to Mecca. We should respect all traditions.
5. Read Physics. Physics is a grand science - perhaps the grandest science. One may or may not become a scientist. One could become an architect, a video game designer, a lawyer, a doctor or an entrepreneur. But no matter, always keep an eye out for writings in Physics. Physics teaches you about the world around you. It teaches you about stars. It teaches you about atoms. Similar to the point I made above related to visiting Temples in India - Physics teaches you how to be at home in this Universe and it teaches you what cloth you are made of.
A little video clip from You Tube called the Power of 10.
6. Help. Always be prepared to help another person. Someone may have forgotten to bring a sharpener to class - lend them yours. Some one might be having trouble with their homework. Some one might be struggling with sports. If you think you can help them, lend a hand. However, of course, you can't be bossy! Be polite - but if you can help, it will not only make you feel better, and not only help the other person in need - it will make you a well liked and popular person!
A final thought. Read the poetry of Tennyson, Kipling, Longfellow and Whitman. Here with one from one of the great poets that the United States has produced - Robert Frost.
The Road Not Taken
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
6 comments:
Great letter. What an apt video to go with it to lend a perspective!
My friend is doing a session with his Integral Theory group on Parenting. This is a great example!
Happy birthday to your son and his cousin
ELLA VALAMUM PETRU PALLANDU VALA VALTHUKKAL
Regarding the letter it is a good one and I have forwarded this to my son who turned 15 last march
It is deep yet simple enough for the boys to get it. I will have V read it later today.
It is a huge coincidence about the poem because that happens to be his favorite and the one he has taped on his bedroom wall!
Good stuff, great advice, particularly Frost’s.
BTW, another reason to ask what, how, and why questions in that order is because they’re moving from ontological to epistemological to phenomenological ‘truth’ (that is, from a point of clarity and agreement to that of empirical incompleteness requiring generalized hypothesis to that of largely subjective projections).
In the pyramids example, you can say to your interlocutor, “When I use the term pyramid I’m only referring to those found in Egypt and not to a marketing ‘scheme’ nor even a ziggurat style building found throughout the world.” It’s now locked in ‘ontologically’ for this conversation at least. Then when getting to the ‘how’, thought we can’t ever really know all about the ‘how’ of most things, still, we can do so enough to offer some reasonable relationship of the defined ‘what’ to that of the larger world around it. The reasons for the incompleteness surrounding ‘how’ will vary (it may be thousands of years and the loss of evidence in the case of the pyramids or all the causal contributors in things a complex as weather) and so more debatable than the ontological ‘fact’ being discussed but it will nonetheless move us from ‘tautological truth’ to ‘systemic explanation’. Then and only then are we at least somewhat prepared to step into the murkier waters of offering a reasonable hypotheses as to ‘why’ – which, by definition moves us into personal motivations. And this we can never know enough about to offer as anything more than suggestions open to interpretations and usually, traction-less debate.
In other words, avoiding the ‘why’ all together, or offering well-labeled ‘speculation’ as to motivations only if asked to, allows one to avoid the divisive and therefore counterproductive sorts of argumentation which leads to creating interpersonal crevices not bridging them. Or as David Brooks would put it: “Fundamental Attribution Error: Don’t try to explain by character traits behavior that is better explained by context.” That is, look at these large issue systemically (the hows) only after having agreed on definitions of major terms (the whats): “I disagree because of the following facts and the following causal reasoning that I bring to these facts…”, not characterologically (I disagree with you because I’m after truth while your motivations are venal and dishonest).
Besides, the best way to lose an argument is to base it on something you can’t possibly know as well as your opponent – what’s in their mind.
Oh, and I agree fully with the physics familiarity advice. At some point, perhaps when they’re older, you might then suggest the ‘mind sciences’ as an area of special interest as this is where the real breakthroughs in understanding and wisdom will take place over the course of their lives.
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