Memories of Mom

Vegetable market walk:  One of my favorite memories with Mom was the walk and back to the local vegetable market, the 'santha', that was on the other side of  the college.  This meant that we walked from our residence at 'additional hostel' to the santha and back.  In the very early days, I remember we took a car.  Sometimes we took a bus.  But many times we walked as well.  It was fairly basic task - go to the market, buy vegetables, return.  But I think there was a certain value to the quality of time spent with each other that was memorable.  Clearly, Mom was a very happy person engaging in this activity.

A sip of wine:  You had countless evenings, typically on Fridays (?) with Sundaram, Doctor Uncle, Veerabahu and Ponnusamy.  These were boisterous, argumentative, sheer fun filled times - I distinctly remember.  However, in all that storm of activity, it would escape notice that there was Mom, taking in the whole proceedings, with a very quite smile on her face, and a glass of red wine in her hand!

Gracious host:  In the fifteen years we spend in Coimbatore, all on the college campus, Mom played host to friends, family, colleagues, and short and long term 'boarders' in the house.  Looking back, I am thoroughly thankful that several members of the family stayed with us over the years.  Through all this, Mom was quite the gracious host ensuring that no one lacked for any comfort - and that they always left with a good feeling about our family.

Warm relative:  We were lucky that for a short period, Mom's uncle stayed in Hyderabad.  And we visited them many times, including going to their club (?).  I remember, Mom being most happy during these visits.  Someone to visit in Coimbatore from her side of the family.  That was a lucky opportunity and I am glad Mom enjoyed that!

Enthusiastic traveler:  During our early days in Coimbatore, we traveled extensively to many many villages, cities, towns and hill stations in South India, and of course our long journeys to Hyderabad.  Magically, everything we needed, was always at hand.  As kids we were focused on the fun of it all.  Looking back, 'all the arrangements' were made for the journey to be smooth and fun!

Shuttling between houses:  During our summer visits to Hyderabad, It was always a point of tension for Mom, in terms of how many days she had to spend in Adarsh Nagar and how many days in Malakpet.  This was the same every year!  But things resolved themselves every year, as they always do!  Social life in Hyderabad, especially during the summers was an overwhelming array of family members both from out of town and in town.  Mom was engaged in building relationships, helping where she could and keeping kids out of trouble.  Of course, making sure that we had enough variety and quantity of picked to take back to Coimbatore!

A gap:  I missed seeing Mom during the period when she was the strongest.  Everything I know about this period is what you have conveyed to me, but never directly from her, nor with my own observations.  This was during the period when you, Mom and Krishna transitioned to the US and I stayed back to finish my undergraduate degree.  I was having a solo adventure (in a known place) for the first time.  So this was a period of great freedom, 'luxury' as it were and fun for me.  I was also the college basket ball captain, my project with Prof. Nair was going well, and I was wrapping up my senior year.  However, you were going through a acutely difficult transition - for you, for Mom and for Krishna.  And you have told me innumerable times, that Mom was your pillar of strength.  So if there is one regret I have, in my memory of Mom, it is that I did not get to help out in this stressful situation.

Dosas on the weekend:  I was quite a popular guy both at Drexel and at Wharton.  During the weekends, my friends Ambarish, Sumanth, Vidya Dixit, Rakesh, Gautam, Sanjeev, Milind and many more made their way to our house to enjoy Dosas and dinner.  In a way, I was recreating the Friday evening parties you used to have.  Mom enjoyed these a lot.  I am very glad that we had this as an excellent transition into NJ life.

 A warm relative (part II):   Surya and Lakshmi garu were relatives, similar to her Uncle in Coimbatore.  Relatives she could call her own on her side of the family.  Similar to our visits in Coimbatore, we paid many a visit to Surya and Lakshmi gar's house in the early days.  We met many of her relatives there such as Venkanna Dutt and Satish.  There was an intensity to the happiness that Mom had during these trips.

The family grows:  My meeting Mini, Krishna meeting Lopa and the birth of the grandchildren were massive step-function in how Mom's happiness grew.  I remember the many many trips we made from NYC to Blackwood.  I probably put in a few thousand miles on Rte. 295.  When Mom came to Sunny's wedding, she loved going on the vacation we all took to Jaipur.  My only small regret here is that she never got to see Freddie - I say this in particular because how much she loved dogs - more than any of us.  Here I am thinking that it was Mom who got us going with the dog 'bucchhi' in the early days back in Coimbatore - buy giving him idlis in the backyard!

World Traveler:  After you became empty-nesters, when Krishna left for DC and I left for NY, you two became world travelers.  And became world-class travelers!  I cannot recount the number of places you have visited - I can think of all the pictures you have taken with her.

An overall memory: Mom is always in our hearts as a warm, serene, caring, delicate person.  She never specifically asked for anything.  Was always ready to give.  I personally have 40 years worth of memories to cherish.