I was wondering about potential differences between three states of mind and behavior:
a. Roles
b. Masks
c. States (psychological)
a. Roles
We play different roles such as Boss, Subordinates, Parent, Sibling, Neighbor. These seemingly are externally oriented. That is, outside-in.
b. Masks
We wear masks that belie our real mindset. For example, we might want to cry, but we might be at work and would perhaps prefer to wear the mask of normalcy
Someone is runner up in a contest, but congratulates the winner even though they may be bitter.
This is probably an internal, inside-out behavior, as it were.
c. States
These are neither internal nor external (or maybe both) which is a psychological state we are automatically transported to.
I’m in a particular “state” in my family’s internet group. I’m in a different state when I’m with my dog, Fred. Yet a third state when I’m engaged in sports such as tennis or golf.
This experience of a psychological state could be considered natural and it flows.
Be yourself!
An argument can be presented around “be yourself!” But in one's day-to-day life, that may not be either easy or advisable? When one is in a “role” it not easy or maybe even be catastrophic if one does not stay in the role even if they “felt” otherwise.
For example let us say one is laying off somebody at work and is issuing a formal notice. In that situation the manager has to stay in role!
I might be in a carefree “state” in my family internet discussion group. Yet I would be careful to tread lightly on any potential critique of a political personality or a social issue, lest I upset anyone in the “carefree” group.
I might be wearing the mask of equanimity during a presentation on stage. And despite hostile questioning from the audience, although I’m tempted to argue, would need to maintain my mask of poise on behalf of my organization and its brand.
Illusion of self
It might be illusory to think we are one continuous homogeneous identity. But it seems like we might assume a role, wear a mask or find ourselves in a psychological state - through the day and throughout the journey of our lives.
I will confess that my state of equanimity usually tends to be that of the proverbial duck. Calm above the water, but pedaling away furiously below!
a. Roles
b. Masks
a. Roles
We play different roles such as Boss, Subordinates, Parent, Sibling, Neighbor. These seemingly are externally oriented. That is, outside-in.
b. Masks
We wear masks that belie our real mindset. For example, we might want to cry, but we might be at work and would perhaps prefer to wear the mask of normalcy
Someone is runner up in a contest, but congratulates the winner even though they may be bitter.
This is probably an internal, inside-out behavior, as it were.
These are neither internal nor external (or maybe both) which is a psychological state we are automatically transported to.
I’m in a particular “state” in my family’s internet group. I’m in a different state when I’m with my dog, Fred. Yet a third state when I’m engaged in sports such as tennis or golf.
This experience of a psychological state could be considered natural and it flows.
Be yourself!
For example let us say one is laying off somebody at work and is issuing a formal notice. In that situation the manager has to stay in role!
I might be in a carefree “state” in my family internet discussion group. Yet I would be careful to tread lightly on any potential critique of a political personality or a social issue, lest I upset anyone in the “carefree” group.
I might be wearing the mask of equanimity during a presentation on stage. And despite hostile questioning from the audience, although I’m tempted to argue, would need to maintain my mask of poise on behalf of my organization and its brand.
Illusion of self
It might be illusory to think we are one continuous homogeneous identity. But it seems like we might assume a role, wear a mask or find ourselves in a psychological state - through the day and throughout the journey of our lives.
6 comments:
I agree with and feel every line you write here!
Good one! Something we all should have been aware all along; yet your note lends to pondering and good exchange.
I would like to go a bit further.
Why we play DIFFERENT roles and wear DIFFERENT masks?
Needs and Motives.
First, the more the needs, more the roles.
Imagine, if I didn’t need money. No role of professional.
Imagine if I didn’t need a family. No role of husband or father.
Imagine if I didn’t need a social recognition/acceptance. No need to be a friend.
Now we all need this to one degree or other. And depending on which the multitude of roles.
Two - Why we wear masks?
It is more than roles. In roles, the expectation is more or less consistent. Mask is what lends to the versatility.
Mask is the super layer to roles.
It primarily emanates from the following:
I have an insecurity which I want to conceal.
I have a possession that I want to protect. (this possession can be person, material/asset, a relationship, a position, or simply reputation). It is a guard.
I have a certain belief and I want to foster the idea. So I want to steer towards an objective of mine.
I said the roles are consistent and in that predictable.
Masks are much more intricate.
For instance for a same issue (political for instance) I may take two opposing stance in two different friend discussion groups.
Reason? I am a moderate and wants status quo and I see extremes of opposite kinds in the two groups and hence based on the composition I take the stance.
Finally - MOTIVE!!
The states are derived conditions from above. For instance I am comfortable in the presence of my pet could be because it exerts least demands on me (needs) and I have less masks to wear in its presence.
Finally to Srini’s point in his reply above:
One can be in equanimous and indifferent once he has evolved.
Basically it means he has risen above needs and motives!
Erving Goffman's book "The presentation of self in everyday life" covers this terrain.
Do consider Transactional Analysis by Eric Berne.
What about the “mirror” — self-image?
Indeed - that is a whole another layer.
Self-image
Self-conscious
Self-possessed
Different flavors of that as well!!
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