A reflection on three questions

I thought I would pose three questions for consideration.  I hope to also reflect on these questions myself, and the purpose of so doing is that you might reflect on your own past, present and future as you read along.

Asking the right questions is a very important art, that can unlock core desire, values and aspirations.  I believe these three questions have a great potential to do so (if one has the propensity to be introspective).


Question 1:  What was it like with money growing up for you?


Question 2:  If you had a calamitous emergency today, that wiped out your savings, what would you do?


Question 3:  If you had all the money you need today, what would you do?



As you think about these questions yourselves, I thought I would address these myself, and as you read along, hope it provokes your own memories.


Q1:  What was it like with money growing up for you?


My clearest memory of money and growing up is the following.  It is a Saturday morning.  I have been handed a yellow ration card in a plastic envelope.  I get on a bicycle with two bags.  One bag is to buy coal, and the other bag is to get rice.

I first go to a store run by the college where my Dad was a Professor (for some reason that I don't understand, why the college was running this store).  But I stood in line.  When my turn came, I showed them the ration card.  They checked it and gave me a bag of rice.

Then I rode my bicycle to the coal shop.  The reason we had to buy coal was there was a shortage of gas and gas cylinders.  So we had to use a kumpaty (a Telugu word), a charcoal based stove.  There was high quality coal and low quality coal.  I was required to buy half of each, since we could not afford to buy all high quality coal.

On a professor's salary in the 70s, there was no question of luxury of finances.  There was luxury of informed discussion and books.  But not luxury of finances.  When aunts and uncles and cousins visited us from big cities and abroad, we would be astonished by the gifts they gave us.  Fancy socks and shoes, calculators, jackets, chocolates and eclairs and so on.  My brother and I would imagine what riches existed in these far away places.

I remember wanting a moped once and at another time a violin.  No dice.  There were just no funds to get those.  It was an unrequited desire.

I would take long scooter rides with my Dad.  There were all kinds of conversations.  But one dictum that rang in my ears was, 'money does not buy happiness'

As a postscript, in 2010 in the US, if I had the same conversation with my Dad today, I imagine he would amend his sentence.  He might say, 'money does not buy happiness, but it can sure solve quite a few problems!'

Back to 70s.  What was money like?  I don't know, because we did not have it!  I could not get most of what I wanted or thought I wanted.  But I can't say I had an unhappy childhood.  Rather the opposite is true.  My best friends then are best friends today.  We have grown and matured and spread all over the world, and we continue one giant conversation.  Why the other day, I had lunch with my high school friend in Dallas, not more than two weeks ago.  We spent only a couple of hours together.  And I don't think it was any different from a lunch conversation we would have when we were in school together, opening our lunch boxes and eating on the school grounds below a tree.

The relatives who visited us bearing those gifts, we are in active contact with them.  Why, many of them have visited our house many times in recent years.  They may not come bearing gifts that would make my brother and I wonder about the fascinating places they lived in, but have a great conversation and fun all the same!

So what was money like growing up?  I don't know, because we did not have it.  And it did not seem to matter one way or the other.


Q2:  If you had a calamitous emergency today, that wiped out your savings, what would you do?


This is no joke.  If one did not have proper coverage, a medical emergency or disability could wipe you out.

We ran a panel discussion on health care at work.  There was an Olympic gold medalist swimmer on the panel.  She made quite a bit of money after she won her gold medal with advertising, etc.  Then her mother fell ill with Alzheimer's disease.  Much to her distress, neither did the government medicare program cover it, nor did the mom have medical coverage privately.  So this swimmer, had to pay out of her savings to take care of her mom.  For 10 years.  And her savings were wiped out.

She was saying, "I don't have the kind of stamina and talent and youth that I had, that allowed me to make money and save it.  Now it is all gone.  And I have another 40 years to live.  What am I to do?"

The other day, I was on a plane.  I suddenly realized that I had failed to send in the check for my life insurance coverage.  It was in my briefcase and I had just not put it in the mail.  I really kicked myself that day on the plane.  I said to myself, what a stupid risk I have taken.  I am on a plane, anything can happen.  I have exposed my family to no coverage, if something calamitous were to happen.  Just because I had not put the check in the mail.  Insurance companies can be terrible.  So if your paper work is not in order, pardon the French, but you are screwed!

I believe, when I look at my situation, I have been as thoughtful as I can about financial, medical and risk protection in case of a calamity.  But the only reason why I have done this, is because 3 friends of mine, of my age, passed away 3-4 years ago and I was very distressed when I met with their families.

So I ask you this question, in all seriousness - is your family prepared for a calamity?  The time to act is not when there is a calamity.  But now.

Taking the example of the Olympic medalist swimmer above, if she had purchased long term care insurance way back, her mother would have been taken care of and her savings would not have been wiped out.


Q3:  If you had all the money you need today, what would you do?


One is tempted to give a pat answer.  I would like to be doing exactly what I am doing today.  Pshaw!  The worst form of delusion is self-delusion.

So let me answer this question honestly.  What would I really do, if I had all the money I need today.

I am not being clever, but the question did not say, all the money you want.  It said, all the money you need.  There-in I think lies a huge difference.

Really understanding one's own situation, psychology, background allows one to separate need and want. 

Want - I want to get into a rocket and fly around the moon and come back like a Russian Billionaire.

Need - I need be free to focus on my interests like the outdoors and like writing (and smoking cigars.... well that is a want, not a need).  I need my family to be healthy and taken care of.  I need for our son to be well educated and established.

If I suddenly wake up one morning.  And I find that my house is gone, my car is gone.  It is a Saturday morning.   And my wife says to me, "SPK, here is the ration card (yellow, in a plastic envelope).  Please go to the store and get us some rice.  On the way back can you get a bag of coal, half good quality and half the inferior quality.  You are always forgetting - we need half/half!"

I would get on my bicycle and go the ration store.  I would stop by at the coal store and buy the coal - half/half.  I would ride the bicycle back home, wobbling with two bags.

I would be happy.  I bet you, that though my wife would kick me in the pants for losing the house and the car, she would be happy too, as I rode the bicycle with the two bags back home.