The new short story by my friend GB Prabhat, titled, "Oh God My God" is well written. It is about a man who pains in a set of journeys to see a master.
http://www.earthenlampjournal.com/Story-Oh-God-My-God.php
The style of writing of this story is much more polished and 'global' than before. It might be impudent of me to say that writer's craft has improved or that writing in a 'global' way is an improvement. Perhaps it is better to say, that they style he has chosen to adopt for this story is much more in keeping with the global writing style than localized. Were it not for specific references to Dal, Himalayas, Tractors and a few other select words, the story, theme and setting could have been anywhere - and thus universal. Including the name 'Seth' as well as the half-German Master adds to the universality.
Good writing is indeed independent of my personal preferences and affinities - but happily in this case, the style of this story and my preferences coincide!
The absence of self-reflection in Seth is one implicit theme I drew from it. He goes through all this pain and journey - and it is evident there is a lot of learning that is happening and he is just not picking up on it. He is too focused on the 'silver bullet' advice from the Master.
I was also happy, that writer chose not to bring the Master off his pedestal, using his health problems as a plot device. Indeed the story has been non-judgemental about the Master's spiritual acumen. I do like the derision with regard to the administrators. And indeed, I like the use of the term administrators! Very well chosen - and makes an explicit point. I hope the readers in general pick up on this.
One of the famous literary scenes in this regard is in The Lost Horizon by James Hilton. There Conway meets the head of the Monastery, Father Perrault - and has a deeply spiritual experience. However, this is because in that case the 'Master called', which is opposite to the case with Seth who is actively the seeker.
The topic chosen here, while fictional, has resonance with me, since I have been Seth myself. Although I was not seeking to alleviate pain; but rather engage in a 'seekerly' conversation. I logged both such experiences earlier:
http://agingonthevine.blogspot.com/2011/02/when-i-met-monk.html
http://agingonthevine.blogspot.com/2011/09/when-i-met-monk-part-ii.html
I also, want to comment on professional competence and pride. Seth is racked with a fair degree of insecurity, pain and lament. But he is aware of his competence as a doctor and deftly handles himself. It is a pity that he has not taken more pride and satisfaction in that as well! Seth needs a talking to!
I think the theme chosen is very attractive. By the way, I have heard any number of stories of my friends making these types of trips - sometimes to a temple, sometimes to a guru, sometimes to a spa! But the idea is the same - feeling better about oneself, sometimes through relief from pain.
The style in which written is universal and global. The handling of the characters is quite mature. And the ending, while a bit abrupt by design, has a hook to draw the reader to think more about the story again, and think of the possible outcomes.
The website for the journal is nicely presented as well - I especially like the presentation of the story within a brown leather album like cover.
http://www.earthenlampjournal.com/home.php
Hope the story is well received!
http://www.earthenlampjournal.com/Story-Oh-God-My-God.php
The style of writing of this story is much more polished and 'global' than before. It might be impudent of me to say that writer's craft has improved or that writing in a 'global' way is an improvement. Perhaps it is better to say, that they style he has chosen to adopt for this story is much more in keeping with the global writing style than localized. Were it not for specific references to Dal, Himalayas, Tractors and a few other select words, the story, theme and setting could have been anywhere - and thus universal. Including the name 'Seth' as well as the half-German Master adds to the universality.
Good writing is indeed independent of my personal preferences and affinities - but happily in this case, the style of this story and my preferences coincide!
The absence of self-reflection in Seth is one implicit theme I drew from it. He goes through all this pain and journey - and it is evident there is a lot of learning that is happening and he is just not picking up on it. He is too focused on the 'silver bullet' advice from the Master.
I was also happy, that writer chose not to bring the Master off his pedestal, using his health problems as a plot device. Indeed the story has been non-judgemental about the Master's spiritual acumen. I do like the derision with regard to the administrators. And indeed, I like the use of the term administrators! Very well chosen - and makes an explicit point. I hope the readers in general pick up on this.
One of the famous literary scenes in this regard is in The Lost Horizon by James Hilton. There Conway meets the head of the Monastery, Father Perrault - and has a deeply spiritual experience. However, this is because in that case the 'Master called', which is opposite to the case with Seth who is actively the seeker.
The topic chosen here, while fictional, has resonance with me, since I have been Seth myself. Although I was not seeking to alleviate pain; but rather engage in a 'seekerly' conversation. I logged both such experiences earlier:
http://agingonthevine.blogspot.com/2011/02/when-i-met-monk.html
http://agingonthevine.blogspot.com/2011/09/when-i-met-monk-part-ii.html
I also, want to comment on professional competence and pride. Seth is racked with a fair degree of insecurity, pain and lament. But he is aware of his competence as a doctor and deftly handles himself. It is a pity that he has not taken more pride and satisfaction in that as well! Seth needs a talking to!
I think the theme chosen is very attractive. By the way, I have heard any number of stories of my friends making these types of trips - sometimes to a temple, sometimes to a guru, sometimes to a spa! But the idea is the same - feeling better about oneself, sometimes through relief from pain.
The style in which written is universal and global. The handling of the characters is quite mature. And the ending, while a bit abrupt by design, has a hook to draw the reader to think more about the story again, and think of the possible outcomes.
The website for the journal is nicely presented as well - I especially like the presentation of the story within a brown leather album like cover.
http://www.earthenlampjournal.com/home.php
Hope the story is well received!
3 comments:
Science, it would seem, is not the route to enlightenment. Nor the route to the Master’s heart.
I first read the story and then your review. Firstly my reflections on your review.
I liked your two main takes. The absence of selfreflection and the master not being brought down from his pedestal in the end. But I am not sure if the story had a more universal setting as you have put it. The setting is unmistakably Indian. The references to typical trains, villages, shanty towns, betel leaves, that the protagonist could not manage conversation with the farmers with his limited Hindi were all clear pointers to this setting. I would argue that even the context is somewhat Indian. Seeking a Godman for relieving of pain is essentially Indian I would think. But this is a moot point.
Coming to the story itself, while the story developed very well, the ending was flat in my opinion. I was looking for redemption for the protagonist in one way or other for the completeness of the story. For Seth, does anything change after this end is my question.
I enjoyed the particular para that mentions the first strains of music from tea stall.
Thanks for sharing and the review.
The following questions of the Master bring him down the pedestal clearly, which is avoidable unless linked to the end.
"Do I have to take the medicine all night ?"
"Are all readings okay ?"
"Do I need surgery ?"
I feel that the ending could have been better.
Here are a few alternative endings :
1) Seth's instinct urged him on. Now is the moment of salvation. Rush. Seize it before it's too late. He realized that there was sweat on his forehead. He paused to gulp before calling out hesitantly.
" Master",
The Master did not open his eyes.
2) Seth's instinct urged him on. Now is the moment of salvation. Rush. Seize it before it's too late. He realized that there was sweat on his forehead. He paused to gulp before calling out hesitantly.
" Master", The Master did not open his eyes, he only raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement. Before Seth could continue, the Master said "I will call you tomorrow ".
3)Seth's instinct urged him on. Now is the moment of salvation. Rush. Seize it before it's too late. He realized that there was sweat on his forehead. He paused to gulp before calling out hesitantly.
" Master", The Master did not open his eyes, he only raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement.
Seth continued " You need not worry, please take rest, I will see you tomorrow again" and walked out.
My preference would be :
4) Seth's instinct urged him on. Now is the moment of salvation. Rush. Seize it before it's too late. He realized that there was sweat on his forehead. He paused to gulp before calling out hesitantly.
" Master", The Master did not open his eyes, his breathing indicated that he was already in deep sleep.
Seth felt a sudden relief.
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