As the cars gently swayed easing out the day
Oh! Feels good, the act of heading back
The vendor was piling newspapers in an unused stack
I saw, as the train was pulling away
Clickety-clack, I heard again, wheels on the track
Of a welcoming bark, there will be no lack
As I will soon whistle, at our front door
Oh! Feels good, the act of heading back
The evening news bearing stories of the latest attack
Will surely break into our temptation to ease
I thought, as the clickety-clacks continued on the track
The mind will only attend to what light attacks
But larger truths await, in the rhythmic trough
Oh! Feels good, breaking from white into black
Life will spring anew after tonight’s period of slack
I do hope good outweighed the bad, in the day’s accounting
Clickety-clack, I heard the wheels on the track
Oh! Feels good, the act of heading back
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Villanelle Form:
A1 b A2 / a b A1 / a b A2 / a b A1 / a b A2 / a b A1 A2.
5 comments:
train journeys are best to bring out our imagination due to the rhythm i guess; nice ditty
Impressive. I like this one a lot. Keep it coming. You should imagine Part II of this poem, of taking the train from, say Hyderabad to Coimbatore, and describe those scenes too.
Nice "Raagam, Taanam, Pallavi...while going home..!!
Clever use of a form based on two rhythms: the clickety and the clack, home and away, tension and relaxation, light and dark.
Nice one– strikes a Rhythm!
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